Rest in Peace Frat Boy

Behind every sorority girl is a King-of-the-World Frat Boy. And with every Frat Boy, there’s an entourage of even more frat boys. All beating their chests in unison, begging for the title Fastest Man Chugger on Campus (must be read in a loud booming voice.) Dear Frat boy, the day has finally come to hang up that paddle. Your weapon of choice now? The ability to “shoot off an e-mail” at the speed of light and the chance to “circle back with your team with a quickness.” Neither of which requires physical stamina or sweat beads. Yes, we know you used to be able to bench-press 180 at the gym whilst eyeing the ladies. Gone are the days when it was “cool” to be sweating beer the next day. Here’s another tip, resist the urge at the next office happy hour to crush your beer can against your forehead. Next time your colleague makes a funny joke, just extend your forearm in the form of a high-five. It doesn’t involve a huge bruise on your forehead, I promise. Oh yeah, and if you see a stack of quarters sitting neatly in front of your boss at the bar, by all means, don’t start flipping them, or his beer glass. It will only end in embarrassment. So may you Rest in Peace Frat Boy. I’ll bring you a six-pack next time you “score” a Client.